Hukilau 2008 - The Last Hukilau Ever....?

On Thursday, June 12, Volcano Bern, Lukelele & I jetted our jaded selves to Fort Lauderdale for Hukilau 2008 and Other Fine Activities.

We took a "late" flight and landed at 10:30 am - it was an historic event for us as NO DRINKING OCCURRED during the entire flight! We did see a fabulous, intense rainbow though, mid-flight. Lest Our Readers think we may have entered rehab or some such nonsense, we quickly found the nearest liquor store to our motel after checking in- a Walgreens liquor store. I heard an announcement for a Mrs. Needlebaum to pick up her prescription and commented how annoying it must be that the intercom was never disconnected...the proprietor informed me that the liquor store WAS part of Walgreens...so you could, say, pick up your Valium prescription AND a bottle of Night Train all in one convenient location! Also, Manischewitz in Five Festive Flavors.

Then, it was off to the Publix grocery store! Whoo-hoo- we were livin' la vida aloha! We narrowly escaped Certain Death by Grocery Cart-those old retired folk are tough - and managed to pick up food, cocktail fixin's and the like. Since Thursday's Hukilau activities for us meant just registering, we were free to drink and grill at our hotel. Whew- exciting stuff.

After dinner, we went, um, resort-crashing. What this means, Dear Reader, is that the fancy hotels across the street with the private beaches became our little playground. We swam in the rollicking ocean until dark, deftly dodging the Portuguese Man o' Wars (the lifeguards were flying purple flags for them and we all know what that means...), then availing ourselves of the pool and hot tub. It was tremendously fun and we were definitely the least expensive-looking people there. Then, back across the MacDonald's lot, behind the dumpster, through some garbage and back to the motel for more drinks! By that time, they had removed the dead hooker from the room next to ours....

Friday was a lovely day where we discovered the depths to which a 'continental breakfast' can sink - pretty damn low. Then off to the Tiki Bazaar! The Bazaar was smaller this year because there was a fabulous 'Fine Art Tiki' show put on by the Harold Golen Gallery, complete with self-important gallery owner! There was TONS of great eye candy and one of the coolest things to see was the 'artist's hand' in these pieces- for instance, Shag's paintings have visible brush strokes in them, something that is not apparent in all the tchotchke that has his artwork on it. Also, Bosko's nod to Witco creations are far smaller than I thought they'd be, with a Van Gogh-esque amount of crusty paint here and there. One of my favorite pieces by far was 'Quequeg's Big Adventure' by John Kissee. There were some fantastic paintings on velvet (really!) that were priced beyond our reach and, unfortunately, I don't remember the artist's name who created them (trying to remedy that....)

As usual, DJ Dr. Scopitone provided the music to shop by, at a deafeningly high volume. All the hungover shoppers must have really appreciated that - I know some of the vendors seemed really annoyed. The three of us managed to snag a photo with lovely Marina the Mermaid - she was very gracious and, boy, doesn't Bernie look happy? I had a nice chat with Doug Horne, who is a doll and Bernie purchased a fabulous glass mosaic piece as my birthday gift from Mark Bloom. Since we had purchased so much stuff last year, we refrained from going overboard this time. Well, we did get more postcards and necklaces. And a vintage shirt. And two mugs. And some Tiki Magazine t-shirts. But that's it! Oh, and more mugs at the Mai Kai.

We then retired to the Wreck Bar for drinks, mermaids and the Martini Kings. All were very good. The Wreck Bar was reserved exclusively for us tiki-lovin' types and had been decorated with painted panels - very cool! Also in that picture are some people that were on the Northeast Tiki Tour with us last year. They're from New Jersey.

We then staggered off to Jeff 'Beachbum' Berry's seminar, 'Potions of the Caribbean'. No pirates, just some hoohah about drinks. I was a little disappointed by this presentation as it wasn't nearly as awesome as last year's 3-hour rambling lecture. Got some free drinks, though! And they warn't in no sissy sippin' cups, neither! Plus, there was extra for the takin' on the way out. One of the drinks had pimento liqueur in it and was darn near undrinkable - one guy swigged it in one shot and practically stopped breathing! He did turn some pretty neat colors, so it was very entertaining.
IMPORTANT: we learned two fun phrases: 'Sucking the Monkey' and 'Tapping the Admiral.' Both refer to the supposed habit of long-at-sea sailors running out of rotgut rum and tapping the vessels that contained bodies of either preserved exotic animal specimens or preserved high-level seamen types to obtain the fine elixir within......

Please use those phrases often and inappropriately.

It was in the lobby of the Yankee Clipper after this seminar that I had an epiphany - apparently all these people stayed in their rooms days & night drinking, only to emerge for the occasional seminar activity, to which they could bring their drinks. When asked if we were going to some other thing, I replied, 'We're going to the beach!' This was met with a short stare of incredulity and the response 'The beach?!' (Yeah, bozo, that big blue watery thing with the beige dirt-like stuff next to it that you must have seen from your room window....) So, off to the beach we went! We saw a cool beach wagon in the parking lot...and avoided contact with the Portuguese Men o'War in the sea.

After fighting for our lives in the ocean we ate lunch at the atrocious White Trash Cabana (I don't what we were thinking, but we obviously were not using any judgment at all. In a way it was good, because we were to return there that night for the big Friday Night Main Event and we knew not to eat anything or use the bathrooms. Seriously.)

So, after lunch, we primed ourselves for the Main Event and arrived just in time for the fabulous Tikiyaki Orchestra's set - they are amazing and Marina did her Fire Dance during their set- hot! On top of all of this, we finally saw Mike & Sandy from 9th Wave- it was a little bizarre to be all the way in Florida and be with people who live 10 minutes away from us, but it was also very refreshing as they both truly have the aloha spirit....we also saw the Intoxicator's set, and they tore the palm-lined roof off the mothersucker. Unfortunately, we were also forced to endure King Kukelele's 'set' featuring 'the littlest mermaid.' Why he thought a bunch of partying adults would give a rat's patootie about small children at 11Pm during a swingin' luau is beyond me...(please feel free to imagine additional, snarky, non-flattering comments here.)

Saturday we were up and at 'em early, popped in to the Bazaar again to score an awesome necklace for the joey Zone, and went to the Bosko seminar - he spoke about his life as an artist and had a slide show and we magically were served drinks at this seminar, too (mental note: next time, sign up for ALL the seminars...) Bosko is one shy dude, but very nice.

Then it was back to resort-crashing. I was treated to the awesomely entertaining sight of one of my male companions stumbling over an article of clothing buried in the sand, only to almost instantaneously right himself as the amazing, rare, exotic sight of a woman sunbathing topless (article of clothing and topless person were unrelated.) Priceless. Almost as amusing was the fight between the desire on part of my male companions not to be crushed by the gigantic waves in the ocean, yet still whip their heads around 180 degrees attempting to get a glimpse of bare breast every thirty seconds....

After an exhausting battle with Ol' Man Neptune and imminent whiplash, we primed ourselves for the Saturday Night Main Event at the fabulous, moody, exotic Mai Kai Restaurant and Entertainment Palace. I forgot how stunning this place is, especially when entering into its inky maw after being outside in the blinding sun and seeing the fantastic decor loom up out of the darkness. Of course, we started out with happy hour, where the enormous boozy drinks are two-for-one....then we were seated for dinner and subjected to the opening act: no other than King Krapalele himself. Leilani Luke reported that almost everyone in the Mai Kai looked just as irritated & bored as we did....and the King looked like he was sweating it just a little - it was during the fruit song. I don't really know the song, he just names fruits really quickly. I do know it sucks, though. Apparently, he also plays with a band called the Friki Tikis, but we've never seen them - I think the situation is analogous to the Dee Dee King/Ramones thing.

Fortunately, our fabulously nice, professional waiter gave us menus to distract us ('special' menus for the Hukilau.) During the wait for foodstuffs, I believe every single man who had a birthday in the last 6 months asked for the Mai Kai Mystery Bowl, which is a scorpion bowl delivered by dancing girl. I didn't think she was going have enough energy to perform in the actual show after all those drinks! Someone at our table ordered one and he was completely delighted (I have to say, the dancer was a lot taller and more substantial than she looked far away - maybe he was scared...hard to tell after drinking one and half Black Magic drinks...)
Volcano Bern, appropriately enough, ordering the Bananas Bengali - which was really Bananas Foster with tons of blue flames and lots of showmanship!

Between dinner and the show, we sat through an interminable 'awards ceremony' which consisted of Hukilau people receiving awards....I think. I was losing interest really quickly. The Hukilau producer announced that, in fact, this was not going to be the last Hukilau. Surprise, surprise. Apparently, back in January the family that owns the Mai Kai decided to sell the land to a developer, then one family member sued the rest of the family to keep the Mai Kai open, so it's not closing, yada yada yada...tears of gratitude, more awards, speechifying....

Finally, we saw the fabulous Polynesian Show with dancing and fire and music and drums and sweat and guys and girls and hips and stuff....very intense and very cool. We then retired to the Molokai Bar (fully restored after damages from the past) to have...more drinks and listen to the Haole Cats!, more Tikiyaki Orchestra and Fisherman, who are marvelous (and apparently also the Bindlestiff Family Cirkus band.) Mike & Sandy gave me a fab tiki bottle opener (natch!) and better yet, sang 'Happy Birthday' to me....sweet! We also had the opportunity for much people watching and the sartorial insanity there was awe-inspiring. Please look at the pictures - they're very, very entertaining....(I believe Charles Phoenix is the gent with the full-on tapa cloth suit and the three large men with leopard-skin fezes and tapa jackets are the Moai Mafia - I couldn't stop laughing whenever I'd see them...they totally beat out Lukelele's Thurston Howell duds from last year.)

Sunday morning, we were up bright & early again so's we could check-out on time and spend some time at the fantastic Flamingo Gardens and Wildlife Sanctuary. It was a dreadfully hot, sticky, overcast day, so it was the proper setting for walking around the gardens- all the tropical plants were their proper size (instead of 1:48 scale like you see at Sears or Home Depot nurseries) and they were stunning! There were little lizards roaming everywhere & I wouldn't have been the least surprised to see a coupla velociraptors or two bounding out of the foliage and eating us. We have some lovely photos here.

We came across the Aviary, where we could go in and walk around a large area filled with all sorts of birds, many that I've never seen before: Roseate Spoonbills (they reminded me of Dodo birds and were friendly as they were hoping for handouts), Wood Cranes, Pelicans, Fisher Crows, White Ibises, Egrets and there were also a few turtles sprinkled around for that Everglades effect. There was also a Raptor and Owl section, but each type of paired birds were in their own cages. All the animals and birds at Flamingo Gardens are rescued from horrible accidents, then paired up and their offspring are released back into the wild - very cool. We attended a 'show' and were given much info about various animals, such as the Great Horned Owl, a snake, alligators and the very rare and exotic opossum. We then cruised around to the animal section, and saw many, many, many flamingos, macaws, peacocks in heat (they are loud and the boys were displaying their impressive array of beautiful feathers to entice the peahens...), Florida Bobcats, River Otters, a few immobile alligators, and best of all, two glorious Florida Panthers. This whole place was just gorgeous and fascinating.

Several hours later, Volcano Bern & I were at the airport (changing into fresh clothing so as not to stink up the airplane after sweating up a storm at the Gardens) waiting for our flight and we see....Mike & Sandy again! Not only were they on our flight, they were sitting sort of opposite us. Volcano Bern had never flown at night, so he had his face glued to the window, watching the
thunderstorms and lightning that were parallel to us the whole flight- it was really gorgeous to watch.

So, there you have it- a little less lubricated by booze, definitely fewer photos, but the trip was certainly enhanced by the trip to Flamingo Gardens. And, never fear, there will be more Hukilaus in the future....

Aloha!

Some Completely Opinionated Reviews

Two Movies:

Sweeney Todd

Wow, I can't say enough in regards to my incredible disappointment with this movie - it sucked. I know the story and even I felt...unfulfilled....with the advancement of the 'plot.' The characters were cardboard cut-outs without any substance whatsoever (honestly, Helena Bonham-Carter is a terrible actress - I don't want to see the gigantic amount of mental processes happening in her face before she arranges it for the camera.) There was no sense of anyone acting with the other person in the room - it felt like a series of one-man shows that happened to be occurring at the same time. Oh, and let's just get the 'singing' portion out of the way- whoever green-lit Mssrs. Depp & Rickman & Ms. Bonham-Carter's 'singing' should be forced to listen to the soundtrack every. single. day. of their miserable lives. I seriously thought that there would be no way Depp & Rickman could ever embarrass themselves on-screen, but they did. And what was with the over-the-top graphic violence? It lent NOTHING to the movie and was merely anticlimactic.
My disappointment is overwhelming- I had seen a production of this musical at the Goodspeed Opera House about 12 years ago that was far, far more adept at achieving what this movie completely failed to do. On stage, the lighting was more medieval and effective, the set was sparse, so the actors were able to flesh out their characters without distraction, and nothing could compare with the actor who played the judge (a dead ringer for Christopher Lee) singing about his ward Joanna while shirtless & flagellating himself in a sexual/religious frenzy. That production was as meaty & juicy as that story could ever get - all without the tiresome glam-goth 'moodiness' of Burton's movie. Z-

Indiana Jones and the Thing with the Crystal...and stuff...

To paraphrase the Perilous One, it's a 'popcorn chomper' - it's got a lot of action, but kinda fizzles towards the end. The story takes place in the 1950s, with a visual nod to 'The Wild One' - there seemed to be a lot of nods-to-another-movie throughout, but I couldn't place my finger on the rest. There's greasers & hot rods, cold war intrigue, Yale, commies, nuclear testing and....sigh...aliens. The plot was not fancy or particularly interesting, the basis of it along these lines- old civilizations could NEVER had this technology without the help of aliens!’ theory, which always annoys me. But the plot didn't really matter- really. It was an action movie, plain and simple, and Cate Blanchett was magnificent (when is she not?) - John Hurt's role could have been played by anyone, sadly enough. I would have been happy if only Ford (looking good!) and Blanchett were in the movie. A few downers included the old 'revive-an-old-romance' ploy, a Disney-esque 'surprise' that a ten-year-old could have figured out.
All-in-all, it was an Indiana Jones movie, so just see it and enjoy! B-

Places to Eat & Drink:

Captain Scott's Lobster Dock 80 Hamilton St., New London

Oh, if you love seafood, this place is for you! It's located between a marina & the railroad tracks in Downtown New London. All the food is incredibly fresh, cooked well and you can eat outside at one of their tables. It's also very clean and the staff, who really hustle, are super nice. I sampled the fish & chips, and you can opt to have red potatoes (grown locally) instead of fries- both the fish & potatoes were amazingly tasty & cooked perfectly. A coworker had the lobster bisque-in-a-boule & found it to be very tasty, we sampled the onion rings (also good and as a rule, I don't really like them), another coworker has the grilled cheese & tomato sandwich, which she liked, and we also tried some really good ice cream. Non of the food was greasy, smelly, or tasted like the cooking oil had been harvested from an '88 Buick. The big draw is apparently the hot lobster roll, which everyone raves about, so I guess that means a return trip soon! The lines can be long, but they move fairly quickly. I highly recommend this place!

The Cove, Rte. 1, Mystic

This used to be a good place to get crab cakes, fish & chips, etc., but it's become horrifically bad. Bad food, bad environment and I'd like to know where all the crows that used to hang out there went to....

Opus on Main Street

This restaurant has opened on the site of the former Victorian Lady restaurant. Bernie & I decide to check out the Adult Martini Bar as it was their grand opening. Oddly, the place still has many of the original fixtures, which is a bit of a time-trip if you had frequented the Victorian Lady in the past. We popped in at 10PM last night, and there was pretty much no one in the restaurant and a couple of folks at the bar on that side (we realized that the kitchen was probably closing, hence no diners.) We made our way to the other side and...we were the only customers. Not promising, but in retrospect, it was like having our own private bartender and nice bar. The idea of that bar is attract the 30+ crowd, as the owners and bar staff know that every single spot in town is generally taken over by the college students. Very irritating that there's no place to get a nice drink at night anymore. So, I'm very enthusiastic about that idea. It has a nice atmosphere, but for some weird reason, the lights were on full blast, but they were dimmed at our request. We then turned our attention to the 'martini menu', which features many lovely types of cocktails and an actual martini. There were no prices on the menu, which was a bit disconcerting, but we gamely ordered our first round: I had a Creamsicle, Bernie had a Kaffir Lime. Oh my. HUGE glasses (I would say the drinks were doubles) and they were delicious. I'm not one for sugary, cloying drinks, and these were delightfully subtle & tasty. The Creamsicle was a frothy, light version of the ice cream, and the Kaffir lime was chilled to perfection and lightly lime-flavored. Bernie then sampled a Sapphiretini, which was Bombay Sapphire gin, orange juice and cranberry; I had an enormous glass of Belvedere, to cleanse my palate. Again, what could have been an acidic nightmare of a drink was both light and tasty. We then decided we needed to try more, so I ordered the Key Lime & Bernie had the Blueberry Pie. The Key Lime was a little sweeter than the Kaffir Lime cocktail (probably due to the Midori liqueur) and the blueberry pie tasted faintly of sweet blueberry, just not overpowering. We also looked at the menu, which looked similar to the fare the Victorian Lady used to offer: steaks, fish, mainly American cuisine with some nice finishes. The bartender, Bill, told us that Thursday, Friday & Saturday were the best days to go, he recommended we have dinner instead lunch, and he highly recommended the steaks. They had just had a private party in there that evening comprised of 65 people, so the lack of patrons was definitely understandable. Apparently, this restaurant was reviewed twice by someone who did not give it good marks - Bill told us the reviewer had come in on the 3rd day they were open, for lunch (which would hardly give anyone a chance to succeed, it would seem to me) and then returned, again for lunch, on a day they had to fire the chef. Oy. We are definitely going to try dinner there, and we hope we can entice some other 30+ peoples to enjoy the lounge.

The Gauntlet has Been Thrown....

...sparing me the agony of coming up with another alliterative blog title.

Fine, Miss Wendy, you want a Tiki blog-off? You got one!

This past Saturday we were treated to fabulous extravaganza at Mike and Sandy's Beach House and Tropical Drinks Emporium.

(On a side note, J10X & I had primed ourselves for hardcore tiki-drinking action by sampling my newest concoction- Rosemary Martinis made with freshly infused rosemary vodka....)

We arrived, fashionable attired in Punktiki(TM) style, fashionably late, with some drunken bum in tow, to the lovely tropically warm beach house and were greeted by the glorious sight of Miss Wendy, Our Hosts, Boojums, Brian & Mel....um, Negative Ed & Lisa.....some people I don't think we properly met....

Drinks! Yes! A huge table of booze & mixers! Mike & Sandy were insanely generous and provided both food and beverage- I was somewhat nonplussed by the announcement that we had arrived and I would be making drinks. Wha....? But that requires...memory! Ultimately, my queenly self got its act together & made a pitcher of Mai-tais & several individual drinks.

(Another side note- Tiki is all about the drinks, don't let anyone tell you any differently....)

We had the opportunity to chat with Mike & Sandy and gawk at all their Tiki decor goodness - gorgeous masks, mini-surfboards....books! Mike also gave us an entire tour of the Aloha Compound as well. We also caught up with others we hadn't seen in a while, and Negative Ed & I bonded over the magical, medicinal qualities of Newcastle Ale....

Mike & Jess, who organize the New England Tiki Tour arrived a little later, with Tim from Waitiki and his lovely lady in tow. The fantastic 9th Wave and Waitiki will be playing the tour this year.....fun!

A little later in the evening we convened down in the basement to hear some surftastic tunes by Mike, Fred and Negative Ed, Sandy and Brian, and then some Summertime Blues with Lushy Luke sitting in on the skins....

J10X & I had much fun & stayed far too late- my car almost turned into a pineapple, but we managed to reach it in time to head home on waves of rum...and that special ohana feeling!

Many mahalos to Mike & Sandy for a fantastic time!!

Retro Video Recap

This morning I flipped through the channels to check the weather, and I happened upon a Clash video - and then more videos from the 80s. Sure, they're cheesy, but oh so much more entertaining and strange than the slick, boring, predictable dreck produced these days....
The Clash video was 'Rock the Casbah': Armadillos galore! The band playing in an oil field! McDonalds! I know this song is trying to tell me something, but the images are confusing, they make no sense...oh, yeah! it's an 80s video! Nothing has to make sense!
So, I thought I was done, then I saw the unkempt tresses of:
Bananarama..... 'Cruel Summer' - boring song, ugly video, terrible fashion (from an English group, yet!), and what's with the 'Dukes of Hazzard' references? Weird.
Ok, by now I was kind of sucked in and repelled at the same time, and then the ever-bizarre,
'Obsession' by Animotion started up- had to watch, it's a really odd train wreck of a video: lots of costumes, bad 80s fashion, bad hair cuts & a sideways ponytail...bad lipsynching and, for my money, some of the creepiest lyrics I've ever heard in a pop song. (Seriously, I could probably write an entire entry on the incredible weirdness of the song & video.)
Madness' 'Our House' started & I had to see that one - silly, fun, and drab, as it was filmed in England....oh, and were Suggs and Matt Damon separated at birth? And what about the guy that looks a heck of a lot like Michael Palin?
Well, that was enough 80s nostalgia for me....I eventually had to get a move on so I could get into my legwarmers in time for aerobics class...

Need Some Punk Rock Reference Materials?

Go to Amy Roberson's page! Oi Oi Oi!

Celestial Sightings, or, Lookin' at la Lune

I hope everyone who was able to saw the incredibly beautiful lunar eclipse last night! When I walked out of work in New London at 10 PM, the eclipse was beginning- the moon was an orangey-red and flanked by two bright celestial bodies- the planet Saturn and the star Regulus in the constellation of Leo. I stood outside with New London Harbor to my left and an unstarred sky (except for the eclipse and its attendants), completely awestruck. The last time I was this affected by something in the sky was the appearance of a comet (was it Halley's?) and I observed it while driving home at night. It's very plain to me how events like these can impact people's worldview, past and present.

It also struck me that getting annoyed at some students for being too loud was really...insignificant.

When I got home, the moon was fully eclipsed and we looked at it though binoculars- amazing! Then I periodically checked on the 'uneclipsing' of the moon, which was less colorful but no less beautiful.

Fun fact: Since I spotted the eclipse last night, Cher's 'Dark Lady' has been running endlessly through my head....enjoy!

'Best' Reference Desk Question All Week

Student: "Do you know how to make a web page?"

Librarian: "Well, yes."

Student: "Can you give me a 30 second tutorial?"

Librarian: "Well, no."

Student: "60 second?"

Happy Anniversary, Pootie-Pie!

This weekend's milestone event was the 7th anniversary of the meeting of the Queen & J10X, the 7th anniversary of me grabbing Bernie by his Road Agents jacket & yelling 'Hey, Do you know Luke?!?! I know Luke!'

The rest, as they say, is history.

Little Eats in New London

This is going to be just a short entry that will hopefully lead to more in the same vein.

I find it intriguing to work a position in which my schedule changes depending on the school year, especially when foraging for food. So far, I've managed to sample a few of the many eateries in New London:

The Hot Dog House on Montauk Ave.: My Favorite New Place. The food is good and simple, and I am completely addicted to the fresh sweet potato fries - an order of those & soup (Black Bean with Pork is divine) makes for a very satisfying meal. This little bistro is very clean, the decor is fun and the owners are absolute dolls- Venus & his wife are as friendly as can be - Venus himself speaks in declarative sentences: 'The same type a food we eat at home!' 'The sweet patata fries are always fresh!' 'So, whaddya know, she's gonna blog about us!' It's always a delight to go in, have a chat, and leave with some good eats.

Saeed's International Market on Ocean Ave.: I never regret getting anything to eat here. They have every permutation of spinach & feta (the kihi being my favorite) and delicious felafel wraps. They also have many fun, exotic eats & sodas, but those can be a wee bit pricey.

The Recovery Room on Ocean Ave. (across from Saeed's): Excellent thin crust pizza (the spinach & gorgonzola is my favorite) and humongous salads that are really meals for two people. The atmosphere is cozy, unless it's extremely busy, and the prices are fair. More of a place to go when you have time to sit and eat, but calling in an order works, too.

The Bean & Leaf Cafe: Another contender for Favorite New Place- they have excellent fair trade coffees & teas and great food - the paninis are really satidfying, served with homemade pita chips, hummus and a small salad. There is plenty of seating & local talents are given a chance to shine. I first visited when they hosted our college's Digital Photography class show.

The Montauk Cafe & Market on Montauk Ave.: This is a little sandwich-and-coffee joint that's within a short walking distance from work - I've had really great sandwiches here (the Cowboy Sandwich is really great- kind of a messy reuben) and they have Green Mountain coffee, which is always fresh, hot & strong. The only downside is that they shut at 2:30 PM....

Well, that's it for now....hopefully some of you readers (all 4 or 5 of you) will visit these places & report your experiences!

Wet, Wild & Woolly Weekend

This past weekend was certainly a whirlwind, starting with a quick nip after work on Thursday at the Cedarwood Lounge attached to the Willi Bowling Alley - not exactly the most glamorous place, but the drinks are strong, big & cheap....like some men I know...

Friday night, Bernie & accompanied Lushy Luke to the incredibly hideous Sneakers Sports Bar in Ashford (I would like to point out it was LL's idea and we are such loyal friends that we agreed to go). The pictures in the link make the place look good; I'm pretty sure we were the only three in there with a full set of teeth and not wearing plaid. The two video games they have are Bowling & Extreme Hunting and some scary looking guy was using the air hockey table as a coat rack. I'll bet the air hockey table is the cause of most of those people losing their teeth - extreme puck action! I think I drank all the Stoli they had in the two hours we were there....and then it was.....

Saturday.

I started off the day hungover because I apparently over-consumed during the two hours I was tortured at the above-mentioned redneck hell-hole. Fortunately, instead of feeling sorry for myself all day, I knew we had plans for the evening: hanging out with Miss Wendy in New London to celebrate her birthday at the Hygienic Art 29 festivities!

We had a restorative dinner at the Asian Bistro, then headed out to the Whaling City after switching outerwear and clothing around. We stopped first at the Golden Street Gallery and saw some great pieces by the artists featured there - it was also sanely populated, which was nice. On our way there, we popped in to see the work being done on the old El 'n' Gee club - they have completely redone the bathrooms (hooray- it had gotten CBGB-esque in those loos!) with Joan Jett & Johnny Cash painted on the doors, a new bar shaped like a guitar, new floors, and they've removed the separator between the bar & stage. The guys working told us the plan was to have a variety of acts, from theater to comedy to music. However, one of the local artists said she had heard it was being turned into a "gentlemen's club" - let's hope not.

We then popped over to Sarge's Comics (the Popular Place for Anniversaries & Birthdays!) and touched everything, but had to leave because they were closing. Miss Wendy did try to convince me to bargain for the Promethea action figure that's been sitting there forever....but I wasn't up to it.

So then, off to the events! It was icy cold out, which meant that once people were in a building, it was tough to get them out. We were not able to get into any of the rock shows at any time as the two clubs were seriously packed. We did give the Hygienic Gallery a try, but I got halfway through before having a major attack of claustrophobia & sprinting out the back door. There was very little to be seen well because there was no room to back up and look at any of the work- a return trip is necessary! Bernie & I managed to find & extricate Miss Wendy, then we all decided we needed drink, because after all, it was a birthday celebration.

We ended up at the Bank Street Roadhouse (which is generally rednecky on non-festival nights, but quite tolerable on this Saturday) and the Rivergods were playing- a very nice, upbeat set for sure (Fun Fact: Nancy from the Rivergods is the sister of my immediate supervisor). Drinks du nuit were vodka tonics and gin & tonics for Bernie. It started getting a little crowded in there so we moved on.

We left and looked at the other clubs, noticing the clientele at this point were spilling onto the sidewalk- no way we were going to shove our way into that! We ended up at a restaurant bar for the rest of the evening having a nice chat & more drinks before heading home.

Thanks, Wendy, for letting us celebrate with you!

Vittles, Video Games & a Venue Change

Last Saturday, Bernie & I, along with some friends, made our first foray into the wild world of Dave & Buster's. At first I wasn't so sure about this place: it's located in Providence Place Mall, so I thought it would be loaded with small children. But joy of joys: ostensibly children are not allowed in there after 5:30 PM! Hooray!

The first obstacle was the parking garage, obviously designed by some sadistic non-driver. On every level there were a billion ways for other cars to zoom in & create near-hits as I awkwardly negotiated the same level 3 times.....we finally found our way out of the labyrinth and soared upwards to....the first level. I'm pretty sure some form of higher mathematics went into the numbering/naming of the levels, but I didn't have the Royal Slide Rule with me to figure it out.

After luckily finding a newly-vacated parking spot, we went right into the mall- I've never been to Providence Place Mall before - it's hellishly huge and seems to have all the same shops as every other mall, but I was told The Secret: as you go up each level, the stores escalate in price.....

We quickly found Dave & Busters and it was BUSY! We had been told it would be a two-hour wait for a table, so we planned on playing games, then eating. Luckily, we ended up with a table within 10 minutes, so we changed our plans. The food was fine, nothing special, but we did get some sort of deal where we received a $10 game card with our meal and our waiter was not only very entertaining, but very hot. Always makes the food just a little better.....So, fed & with a nice buzz going on (Belvedere was the drinkable vodka served there), it was off to the games!

The games were a bit overwhelming, what with all the flashing lights & the number of people around. Surprising to me, everyone was very fair about letting those waiting take a turn. There were driving games, flight simulators, AIR HOCKEY, shooting games, some strange roulette-type games, a crane machine with cheeeezy bling, boxing games- a lot of choices to be sure!

We hopped right on driving games to start- don't ask me the names, all I know is they tossed me around while I maniacally drove & was laughing hysterically...Miss Wendy, I have no idea how you could drive any of those games with a martini in hand! You are truly a Patsy Stone....
We played more games of that ilk, and of course I had to play with the flight simulator- graphics-wise, far more sophisticated than the one I trained on at Windham Airport, but far less accurate. For instance, I didn't crash nearly as many times....
Bernie & I accidentally hogged the ginormous, flourescent air hockey table for several games, Mikey played Donkey Kong for a really long time, and I tried my hand at Space Invaders- 'tried' as in 'tried to figure out how it worked' (it's been a loooong time) and then the message 'Game Over' appeared....

After a couple of hours, and using the Jaws of Life to pry Bernie way from the games, we were DONE. We noticed that around 8:30 or so, it started getting very meat-markety in there for the 18-21 year old set. Eeew.

My suggestion is not to go on a Saturday night- it was fun, but packed. And be prepared to spend some money! All in all, it was a really fun time and everyone was having fun on the same level- pretty cool!

********************************
So, what's all this about a venue change? Well, Bernie just landed his bad self a new job with the New London Housing Authority! Less hours, more money - whoo hoo! Congrats, pootie-pie!

....and now, Reality.

Sadly, this is the first day back to work since Dec. 21. It was so difficult to have to get ready & be out of the door within 2 hours of waking.....but, I have memories of a fabulously festive holiday season to soften the blow!

Bernie & I were fortunate enough to host some of our closest friends - the Wombats from Albany, Miss Wendy, Alex, Marko and the Boojums- for an impromptu cocktail party. I'm really beginning to appreciate the merits of smaller gatherings, especially the ability to be able to talk to all of our guests! It was especially nice to be able to make Wombat small-talk as we don't see them nearly as often as we'd like!

The next night, my parents threw a fantastic wine & cheese party for their neighbors - it was lovely, with really nice people and more cheese than even I could eat. (I'm pretty sure at this point I'll never have to worry about brittle bones with the amount of cheese I've consumed in the past week and a half....)

On New Year's Eve, we scrapped our original idea of going to Boston, but we didn't want to ring in the new year at home. So, we dolled up and headed over to the Mohegan Sun casino, of all places. But I'm glad we did- we 'discovered' a Mexican restaurant in there & made a ton of noise at midnight along with the other patrons- it was such fun! Then we cruised around, looked at the fab decorations and people-watched for a bit & then headed home.

Then we started the new year in the best way- we didn't do a damn thing all day. Hooray!

Air Hockey- Best. Game. EVER.

For my immediate family, Dec. 25th is a secular holiday of presents, food & family fun. As in years past, J10X & I arrive at my mom's house, fashionably late, with santa hats on our heads & my incredibly warm, long, heavy forest-green cloak about my shoulders. (It is of no surprise to me that people no longer wear substantial cloaks to drive- the shoehorning of myself & that garment into my car alone is a Herculean effort, never mind clearing enough room around me in a sea of wool to locate the car's gearshift.)

I have finally come to the realization that all along it is only my sister, mother & myself who get completely hysterical during the present opening. My 5 year old nephew (Jack) doesn't even get that excited, tho' he claimed to be way more excited than me. But there's just no way- he doesn't even get to drink mimosas before gifts.

But the most fun to be had was when my dad brought up an air hockey table he had purchased for my nephew - or so he thought. J10X & Jack tried it out (Jack employing the Nowyckyj Goal-Blocking Ploy- placing his forearm in front of his goal) but things really heated up when J10X & myself went head-to head. My dad was pretty sure we were destroying the table & my mom was laughing as hard as we were- air hockey can get very intense, very fast & very fun. Half the time you end up knocking the puck into your own goal by mistake, or in my case, sailing it onto the floor, into my sister's back, the walls, etc. Considering the advent of so many great computer games, Xboxes and the like, I was amazed at how intense a simple game like this could get- we were sweaty & totally crazy.

So, we finally peeled ourselves out of there & to home- we recuperated by watching 'Mr. Bean's Holiday' which was a tad disappointing- good effort made to create a story, but I expected way more silly stuff. This past weekend we also watched 'Harry Potter & the Order of the Phoenix' which I was only compelled to watch because I had seen all the other movies. I think with the exception of the 'Prisoner of Azkaban', they've all been disappointing. I've not read any of the books, but the movies tend to make me feel that a LOT has been left out.

So, now I have a week to create & read!

Happy Boxing Day!

Local heroes, libations, lashings of music and the lengthening of days...

Saturday night was a celebratory night for music in New London- Paul Brockett Roadshow Band's 2nd Anniversary show was opened & closed by The Reducers!

PBRB had goodies to give out- a CD of rollicking fun with music, skits and some bizarre yodelling barnyard shenanigans, a poster photo montage on the inside of the CD (with some pictures of people you know) and a fabulous pin.
PBRB wore their dress blacks onstage, looking very sharp. Their set had somethings old, something new, nothing borrowed and 'Can't Mix Gin with You' featuring the vocal stylings of Ms. Daphne Glover. It was fun, fast and fantastic!

[Note: if Paul is the Gentleman of New London, Meghan is certainly the Glamorous Spirit and both rest on the Solid Foundation that is Dave. And if that isn't enough for you, they're really terrific people, too....]

The Reducers were, as usual, their efficient, rocking selves- this band consistently over the past 20-odd years I've seen their shows just deliver the goods every time, with no fuss and exquisite form. They rock, plain and simple.

Seeing both bands in the same venue is always a treat as we always see our friends, too- everyone was filled with holiday joy and the joy of a great night of music. I was so happy to actually find that one spot in the place where I could actually hear someone talk, so I did spend that last set of the show chitchatting with, it seemed, half of the music-loving population of New London. A great night all around...

Happy Anniversary, Paul Brockett Roadshow Band!

Vodka & Me

We had a very good year.

I discovered in Women's Health magazine that my fave summertime vodka garnish, blackberries, are even better for you after being soaked in ethanol.

I have just now read that my very favorite potable, Reyka, is processed 'green' via geothermal heat. And they have no plans to ever flavor the vodka - skál !

Adrenaline

Adrenaline rushes come in two great flavors-the fun-I can't-believe-I didn't-hurt-myself-kind and the not fun-I can't-believe-I'm-not-dead-kind.

I experienced both tonight within 10 minutes of each other -two coworkers hit me up to sled down the considerably steep hill next to Mitchell Hall on a car sun reflector....scary, but so worth it! Whee!

A few minutes later, I hopped in my car to get something delicious from Saeed's International Market and turned up the wrong street - uphill into a completely iced-over parking lot with a steep slope. My car miraculously made it up there, and as I realized my error and turned my car around, it decided to do a double basic spin and slide sideways down the hill, while stalling. It recovered beautifully and I gave my car a 9.9 for a complicated routine....

Winter Zombie Night at the Aloha Alcohula (TM)

Last Friday, the Aloha Alcohula (TM)* had a little impromptu tiki drink gathering - featuring nothing less than Zombies made from the original c1938 recipe by Don the Beachcomber. And featuring nothing less than your intrepid hostess' homemade cinnamon syrup & falernum (#8) to boot.

Winter Zombie Night was dedicated to two people: the joey Zone and the lovely Adrienne at Stop & Shop who risked life & limb to retrieve the last 4 existing bottles of lime juice from the very back of the tallest shelf in the store. Your hostess wasn't able to milk enough limes for the Zombie-making without further damaging her delicate little wrists.

The joey Zone did a fine, fine job of giving an extensive tour to Mike & Sandy of 9th Wave fame, all the while explaining the provenance of every single piece of tchotchka - some of which I didn't even know, such as the fine lockers I purchased to house CDs & DVDs that apparently had belonged to a strip club in the past.....(we suspect it was probably the Log 'n' Lantern. )

So, thanks to those who came & drank and didn't throw up little fruity bits!

*Best tiki bar in Willimantic

Of Oil Tanks, Royale Footwork and a Hula Dancer.

This past weekend started with having my house's oil tank ripped from the soil - the entire process was completed by the time I returned from a far-too-early appointment. I was a little disappointed, because it would have been fun to see the process, but when I walked down my driveway at 9:30 AM, my oil tank was dangling from a backhoe & the hole was completely filled! Hooray!

Friday night, Johnny von 10X and I were invited by Miss Wendy to attend the service she was presenting at her synagogue. This was really interesting, as there was quite a lot of interaction with the congregation (including a question-and-answer period at the end) and the text provided had the songs printed in Hebrew, English, and a transliteration of the Hebrew text; there were also annotations. Miss Wendy did a fabulous job and also contributed a very beautiful poem - I may actually start liking poetry...

Saturday night, we watched poetry in motion - we saw the Royale Brothers (yes, again, jZ) play at the Backstage Pass at Rosie's Cantina in Groton - it's a nice space, totally separated from the strip club portion of the building. There were a decent amount of people there and the bar had Laphroaig - so lovely on a chilly night. Even better, friends I hadn't seen in far too long were in attendance and we had time to catch up.

Eventually, the Royale Brothers hit the stage - two band members were dressed all in black, (perhaps in recognition of the passing of the Great American Hero, Evel Knievel), two in various shades of plaid. The addition of the fog machine & some fancy flashing lights ramped up the visuals, including much fancy footwork (a la James Brown) by Joey Royale, and the adrenaline-inducing sight of Sebastian Royale coming THIS CLOSE several times to nailing Joey in the head with his guitar (or perhaps just poking an eye out with a guitar string) and Joey coming THIS CLOSE to taking out some lights & electricals when he brandished his microphone stand in the air and howled. There's just something exhilarating about the combination of rock'n'roll, near electrocution and near ocular impalement...

As usual they did not disappoint - as Marko observed after they had finished, 'I pity the next band following THAT!' Indeed!

But the very best line of the evening was: "I've been making Feejee Mermaids...when I'm not working or making out with my girlfriend, I'm making these...things...!" Hmmm...I wonder how much it would cost the Aloha Alcohula* to obtain one for display? As for the person who uttered those fine words, please do yourself a favor and visit the NE Anomaly site!

As for All Things Tiki, there is rumored to be a tiki bar opening in Vernon very soon- of course, this will entail making an exploration into unknown territory. Hopefully the Sacred Text of The Bum will be utilized in its proper form.

And what about the Hula Dancer? Oh, that would be the tattoo that Nimble-Fingered Phil Royale sports on his forearm, merrily dancing away....


*the best tiki bar in Willimantic.

My Wonderful New Job

[How many times must I tell the same 5 people to shut the hell up in here?!?!]

Sample conversation between 2 guys (spoken loudly across 2 computer carrels):

• Do you eat at restaurants?
• Yeah
• What kind you like?
• Yeah
• Italian?
• Yeah
• Pizza?
• Yeah
• Fish?
• Nooooo...
• Wanna eat dinner with me sometime?
• Yeah
• Do you think (name of girl here) will eat dinner with me?
• ....yeah....
• Do you like Italian food?
• Yeah
• Hi, Steph! So, are there cameras even in the parking garage at the casino (11 millionth time he's asked me this...)
• Yes, they're everywhere- if you want to chitchat, you have to go downstairs.
• Ok! SORRY!
• Ssshh!
• Do you like Italian food?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggghhhhhhhh!


(I had multigrain pancakes with cheese & scallions today. La Wombat seemed to think this was blog-worthy....)

Licking Stick

...that's the song that was echoing around my head this morning. Odd, because I saw two shows last night, not one of which had a single James Brown cover....

J10X, Lushy Luke & I went to see our friends Anne Castellano & Dorian James play at the Annex right in town- for once, didn't have to travel to hear good music! The Annex is a large brick-lined room above the art gallery of Main Street - and a convenient 45 second hike to the Main Street Pub. The sound is actually quite good there and we've seen bands ranging from acoustic solo performances, like Anne, to full-on noisy (the Chuck Hestons come to mind...)

Unfortunately we had to leave halfway through Dorian James' set in order to get Luke to New London for the Gamma Rays gig. The Rays recently acquired the fantastic Johnny Customs on bass, and that man can play! His presence has really charged up the rest of the band and they were fast & loose! Opening for the Gamma Rays was a duo from Maine called Meantone - they were loud, punkabilly & very rock'n'roll (a double bill of Meantone & The Royale Brothers in the future would be just divine). The singer/guitar player 'Meantone' was a fantastic player & during their set wore a gas mask with a mike inside. The drummer, Little Brett was terrific and part way through the set, Johnny Customs played with them for a few songs- too bad so many people missed such great shows last night - both places were pathetically short on audiences.

Levez-vous et dansez!