Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Who I'm Hatin' On: Bank of America- Incompetent Jerks or Evil Empire?

It's both! BoA is loaded with terrible, horrible attributes.

Sit 'round the fire, children, and let me tell you a story:

I was rewarded with a letter from BoA after paying off my unsecured cauldron loan that not only was the loan was paid in full, they were canceling a lien on my mortgage......?!!?!

Boys & girls...unsecured means I had the loan with no collateral and I had only held my castle's mortgage for two weeks at that point- pretty fast work on their part, considering they only have pig's feet with which to write!

So, I decided I would merely place a friendly call to the customer service village to find out what was going on. Two days and no less than FOURTEEN customer service trolls later, I still did not have an answer. Not surprising, as the completely unhelpful a**holes (a.k.a CUAs) spent a great deal of time transferring me around to the auto loan department, the 'we-only-take-applications-for mortgages-department', various flying monkey 'supervisors' (who were thinly disguised CUAs), the broken broom department, etc.

Now thoroughly irritated, as any Queen would be, I decide to send a message via magical email to BoA. Wow, if telephoning wasn't bad enough, the four CUAs I've contacted can only respond to my request for information via cut-an-paste scripts - the poor people working at BoA aren't even allowed to think for themselves! The final email I receive informs me I need to go to one of their branch offices in the deep, dark woods. As if I don't hate them enough already, I will have to get my slippers-of-silver-cloth dirty!

At this point, I have now reported them to the CT Banking Commission office. I want my grievance on record, recorded by our ogre-scribes.

So, I head to my local BoA branch, in the deep, dark woods. And you know what? It only took the very pleasant young fairy princess I spoke with for 5 whole minutes to inform me that it was all 'just a mistake'....

And if you're all very, very good, I will tell you the end of the story another day....

7 comments:

Cranky Yankee said...

You got your castle mortgage from BoA? Why?
I thought you got it locally?

(We can discuss this off line, if you wish).

The Queen said...

Well, Cranky, I did NOT get my mortgage from the evil BoA, which made this even more confusing....and, suffice it to say, this whole fiasco would be yet another reason to never, ever do business with those idiots...

It occurred to me that I could use my blog as a forum for both venting & exposing poor company practices...next week on 'Who I'm Hatin' On', I will be blogging about the INS...

K. A. Laity said...

Good for you, QoE! Take those charlatans to the mat.

The Queen said...

I still have to tell the ending of the story - shall it be a fiery, painful death of the BoA evil wizards at the hands of the Dragon Dragoons, or a slow and painful death by being forced to negotiate their own phone tree until they get the answer they need to find?

Either way, it's gonna be painful...

Wendy said...

I vote for a quick and painful death. Don't waste good torture tactics on the likes of them. I'm so sorry for the entire debacle.

The Queen said...

OK, quick & painful it is!

MWahahahaahahahahhaaa!

The Queen said...

Infuriating update: some 'executive customer service' person called to inform me that they couldn't find any paperwork of the transaction, that I don't have a mortgage with BoA & they were going to investigate how this happened.

My (not terribly nice) response was 'Well, there wouldn't be a paper trail as you cannot place a lien on my mortgage for an unsecured loan - surely bank employees must know that. Oh, and I do know my mortgage is not with your bank as you obviously are all terribly incompetent. So, keep your paws off of my house & stop wasting my incredibly valuable time!'

I'm still waiting for a response from the corporate offices on the 4page letter I sent to them...

I am so not willing to let this go.